The Year of No Comparisons

24 Jan

I’ve mentioned before how my friend Lauren starts a new theme of the year on every birthday. I often join in but sometimes get a little distracted. My excuse this year is better than ever as I had a baby on my birthday in 2012! So I’m a little behind. But I really nailed The Year of the Sparkling Buddha and it does help me to have a theme, something to reflect on as I make decisions or fight with myself in head. But it really has to be the right one and I haven’t had much time for reflection. Around the new year I finally discovered my theme for 31 when I stumbled across this photo-

Comparison is...[4]

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Ah ha! The Year of No Comparisons.

Being a new Mom is hard. I love it, but it’s hard. I don’t always know what to do. I don’t always know what’s normal. I don’t always know where to go to find out what to do or what’s normal. Increasingly, I find myself wondering how some women seem to be able to get so much done when I’m just excited if Claire has eaten and slept well in any given day. She’s a good baby but she’s often fussy when she eats and needs a lot of coaxing still to be convinced it’s time to go to sleep. So, those two simple things can leave me physically exhausted after doing them so many times per day.

But what I have found, ever difficult as it might be, is that I often do best when I just follow my instincts. Comparing myself, or Claire, to anyone else doesn’t really work. The external input and advice has a way of getting into my head and making me more anxious than not. We’ve got our thing going and we may not be perfect but I think we’re doing OK. I know there are milestones to watch for and some places where comparison really is appropriate. But I think, overall, we’ll be better if I just do my best and not worry how that compares to anyone else.

This is going to get harder when I go back to work and still want to get more done than I have hours for in the day. It’s hard when I look at other photographer’s websites and compare my work to theirs. But that’s why it’s this year’s theme.

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5 Responses to “The Year of No Comparisons”

  1. Carmen Fiordirosa January 24, 2013 at 9:57 am #

    I think this is great! You are doing a great job taking care of Claire – we all learn along the way… It took me much longer than you to figure out the comparing thing just doesn’t help anyone : )

    • pleasantandhome January 24, 2013 at 5:06 pm #

      Thanks, Carm! :)

  2. Keeping it Real In Chicago January 24, 2013 at 10:29 am #

    Carmen is so right! No two babies are the same and to compare your little angel to another will get you nowhere! While I always enjoy asking for other moms advice, it doesn’t always mean it will work. As I was leaving the hospital last week, the nurse gave me a hug and said, “when in doubt, just give them love.” I plan in following this advice always because in the end that’s all that really matters. You are a great mom!!

    • pleasantandhome January 24, 2013 at 5:08 pm #

      Yeah. I think that’s probably the key – being open to hearing advice (or averages or whatever!) and then taking it n and deciding what’s best for you and your family. It’s just so hard in the moment sometimes to process that properly, you know?!

      I love the nurse’s advice. At least we both know we have that part down! :)

  3. Lauren January 25, 2013 at 6:27 pm #

    I very much approve of the theme! It will always be a work-in-progress, but the more you practice, the better you’ll be at not comparing!! Maybe I’ll do that as next year’s theme…

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