At any given time, I have about 10 different things on my “oh, I should blog about that” list. But I often need to just do and can’t stop to write. Especially since both doing and writing take me a long time. It’s just my way. Everything is a process. And a continual one at that. I’ve always considered myself to have this really bad habit (coping mechanism?) of ignoring things until all of a sudden they’re so bad they about cause a nervous breakdown. Of course, all things are relative. Some might look at my linen closet and think it’s fine. I opened mine last Friday night and literally almost cried. Instead, I pulled everything out, got rid of a ton of stuff, and re-organized what was left. And then, since that felt so much better, I figured I may as well re-organize the coat closet on Saturday morning too.
I’ve been doing things like this for weeks, maybe even months now. I thought I’d be able to catch up and get things under control once I started my new job. And yet somehow, it seems like there’s always so much more. We’re only a family of two. How much stuff or mess can we really have? And so it occurred to me recently that it may have more to do with my desire for control than anything else. (Though, honestly, those two closets were a disaster. They’d been on my to-do list for at least a year. The breaking point should have come a long time ago.) The thing is, when one thing in life seems to go well, another seems to slip. And so, this is me, controlling what I can.
I opened the June issue of Real Simple tonight and this was the quote on the opening “Thoughts” page:
When I cannot bear outer pressures anymore, I begin to put order in my belongings…As if unable to organize and control my life, I seek to exert this on the world of objects.” – Anaïs Nin
Yup. That could absolutely have my name as author instead. Only she wrote it better than I could. =)